November 1, 2012

Overwhelmed


Everything begins to blur as your eyes fill. Tears tickle the edges of them, threatening to fall. They overflow and the droplets of salty water hit the swell of your cheeks with soundless plops. They create tracks as they slide down into the hollow of your neck, telling stories and releasing emotion. 

And for this type of crying you are not ashamed, are not even aware of the small gasps of air going in and out of your lungs as your involuntary reflexes join together and weep. 

You are overwhelmed. 

You've suddenly realized that you are not hungry. You have clothes on your back and shoes on your feet. 

Your family loves you and you love them. You are healthy, you have a warm bed to sleep in. You have a house, shelter. You are getting an education and you have opportunities every other second to learn.

You are so blessed.

We are so blessed.

We live in America, and know God. The One True God. The King above all kings. And He is ours, we are His children. We are grounded in our beliefs, and have no reason to be afraid. We are safe. Physically and spiritually.

Why weren't we born in Vietnam or China? Why do we have three hot meals every day? Why are we allowed to read the Bible when and where we please? There are no answers, only blessings.

Overwhelmed.

The dull pain in your knees barely registers as you bow to try to find words, any words to say … what? We do not know, cannot understand the depth of this emotion. It's drowning, it's bigger than us, it's overwhelming.

So we say the two words we do know, the two words we learned at a very young age.

Thank you.

A million times and again.

Thank you. 

For dying for me. This I cannot understand. The depth of this kind of love, to give your life so painfully for people who have done nothing to deserve it and probably never will. Amazing. Incredible. Overwhelming.

Thank you.

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