December 29, 2019

our little one


Willa Marie
December 21, 2019
 2:45am
8 lb. 4 oz. 21.5 in.


The best gift of all.

September 23, 2019

just a little update

"Baby J" due December 17, 2019


I don't know how many people follow my blog that didn't already know we're expecting, but surprise! I went back and forth about whether or not to make an "online announcement" before the baby was born, but I decided enough people know already that I might as well. 

We waited 12 weeks before telling our families and 16 weeks before telling anyone else. It was so much fun having that sweet little secret between just the two of us and I honestly wanted to wait a lot longer than that. However, when you're sick all the time and starting to randomly get swollen, those things become a bit harder to conceal!

For fun, I thought I'd include the answers to the questions I get asked most frequently...

"How far along are you?"
28 weeks! That means we have 12 weeks left if the baby shows up right on time, which is rare.

"How have you been feeling?"
Pretty good right now. I had all day sickness for about 15 weeks but now the only thing I deal with is heartburn and reflux in the evenings. Oh, and intense swelling thanks to the 90+ degree days we're still consistently having, hence the reason I cropped my feet out of that photo! I can't do anything about my puffy face, oh well! (Yes, I've tried putting my feet up, staying out of the heat, moving around, and laying on my left side. I'm drinking around a gallon to a gallon and a half of water every day so at this point it's just a "hold out til the baby's born" thing!)

"What's the gender?"
We don't know! I've never wanted to find out, but it took some convincing for Brandon. I'm loving the added anticipation and I think it will help me get through the final stretch. (The heart rate has stayed right around 140 for those who like to try to guess gender that way.)

"Do you have names picked out?"
We do, but not even our family knows what they are. We've had names picked out since long before we even started trying and we haven't wavered yet!

"What have you been craving?"
Nothing crazy, really. My favorites have always been those of a twelve year old - pizza, hot dogs, french fries, ice cream...now I just want MORE of those things! I've been enjoying chicken salad and dill pickles more than usual too. Big babies run on both sides of our families so I've tried to watch my weight as much as I can but the swelling is adding water weight I can't control. (None of my cravings point towards boy or girl either, according to all the old wives tales.) Oh, and I guess if I gave in to my REAL craving it would be a McDonald's cheeseburger, fries, and mocha frappe every single day. I can't and wouldn't do that but...I may have given in once or twice.

"Have you been feeling the baby a lot?"
Not much at first, but definitely a lot more now that it's getting bigger. Neither me nor Brandon were very hyper children, so it doesn't surprise me that our baby isn't super active. But it is a very amazing (and very weird haha) sensation!

I'm in my third trimester now and very ready for December! Brandon has been the very best during this journey. Making sure the kitchen was clean and "scent free" during those long weeks of sickness, and sending me back to bed the mornings after I've tossed and turned all night. We're surrounded by family and I couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy experience. My sister-in-law Tara is expecting as well and is due just a few weeks before me! 

We are SO excited! Life is flying by and I know December will be here before I know it. I hope you all had a wonderful summer and enjoy a lovely fall!






July 22, 2019

home

I heard an old song a few days ago that put the subject of home on my mind and I haven't been able to get it off. It's a secular song so I won't recommend it, but it basically talks about the person you love feeling like home. It reminded me of a quote I sent Brandon once that said, "Falling for him wasn't falling at all. It was walking into a house and suddenly knowing you're home."

I remember the night before our wedding sitting on the floor of my old bedroom weeping as I said "goodbye" to the room that had become my haven the past several years. I was at home with my parents until I was 25 and both of my brothers had been moved out for years. The second floor of our house had become somewhat of a secluded place for me and my sister as we had become adults and each of our rooms had our stamp, our touches, our comfort. It was without a doubt "my happy place" filled with my books and journals and pictures and memories on top of memories of hours spent reading, praying, dreaming, hoping. I had said a teary goodnight to my family but as I prepared for bed and the house grew silent I simply sat on the floor, leaned against my bed, and cried for about 20 minutes bidding farewell to the only place I'd ever called home.

One of my favorite quotes is by Anatole France and says, "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."

Marriage was a much longed for change for me, but there was definitely some melancholy and I did expect to experience a little homesickness the first few weeks. Surprisingly it never happened. There was once, maybe a month or so after the wedding, that I was back home one afternoon to pick up some things that it got to me just a little. My mom was in the kitchen and I ran up to my old room. I passed Amie reading in her room across the hall and entered the bedroom that at that point still looked just as I had left it. There was a split second that it all hit me that this part of my life - this very big part - was over forever. There was no coming back. But I had already grieved, and someone else had quickly become my home.

Eleven short months later Amie was on her honeymoon. Brandon went on a 3-day ski trip and my dad was preaching an out of town meeting so my mom and I both found ourselves alone in our houses. Given the opportunity to spend a couple of nights in my old bed I came to the surprising realization that it just didn't feel like mine anymore. Whether my house was empty or not, I had created a new space that I was attached to. This place had Brandon's things, Brandon's smell, and if I was going to be without him for a few days I wanted to be in  a place where I still felt him.

Now, six months later as we take more and more steps to starting our "forever home", the place we are now feels more temporary than ever. We've been saying "I can't wait til..." and "It's going to be so nice to..." We never wanted to feel too attached to a rental and I can safely say we have succeeded. But it has been a home for us and it will continue to be for the next several months.

Last night as we laid in bed I listened to Brandon's deep breathing and felt a panic sweep over me. It's been a tough few weeks. We've both been sick and it's been a struggle trying to get better. It's been incredibly hot and we've been wiped out. I'll admit, I've done an extraordinary amount of complaining. But last night, laying there, I couldn't get out of my mind how much I love this life we have. My dad's messages yesterday were on suffering, and with so much of it around us I feel so incredibly blessed, so thankful for these things I do not deserve. My feelings of panic came with the knowledge that this too, is temporary.

We have another home waiting for us. My PawPaw is there. Brandon's Gramma is there. Our grandparents, our parents, so many people we know and love are anxious to be there too. But me? I like my home here. Perhaps I'm too attached. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm not afraid of my eternal dwelling place. I have simply been so blessed by a merciful God, and I am enjoying those blessings with every fiber of my being. I know there is better waiting but my small, carnal mind just can't imagine much better right now. And so this is how I imagine heaven. It's home. I know enough to know that it won't be like I expect, but if I imagine it different I can't fathom it being as good. So to me, it is my home, it is the people I love and am loved by. It is this life I have but without sin and temptation, worry or anxiety.

I hope we can all come to the place where we see our sufferings as God's purification. Where we see the small blessings as infinite joys. Where we can make a beautiful home with our meager earthly belongings, while looking towards a home our finite minds simply can't comprehend.

Heaven will be our best day ever, magnified and multiplied. Heaven is home, and home is the greatest blessing I know.






April 11, 2019

things i love thursday

Here I am again, over two months later, finally getting a blog post out!

I'm just going to jump right into it...

First of all, I have to go all the way back to Valentine's Day because that's just how long it's been since my last post! It was our first time to attend the Sweetheart Banquet at church, and our first married Valentine's Day. Last year Brandon surprised me by cooking for us so this year it was my turn to be the chef...and I added a bit of decorating as well.

Sweetheart Banquet 2019

at-home Valentine's Day date


Our anniversary was a few days after that and we celebrated a week later by spending the night in Nashville and seeing The Celtic Woman perform at TPAC. It was such a nice, low-key celebration and I had a grocery shopping partner on the way home the next day! (Maybe it's because I don't have kids yet but I really dislike grocery shopping by myself.)

We picked up some 100-layer donuts from Five Daughter's Bakery for breakfast and they were the best I've ever had!

We also had one-year photos taken because that was my main reason for wanting a porch swing picture on our wedding day. I'm so excited to repeat the first photo year after year and see what changes take place!





My mom got to keep Josie Jean at her house a couple of weeks ago and since she was ten minutes down the road from me instead of over an hour, of course I had to go spend some time over there! Have I mentioned how calm and happy this little girl is? She is truly the sweetest child.

experiencing a little "country life" with MaMaw

And, just because I like these pictures I thought I'd share them. National Sibling's Day was yesterday and now that we're all married I had to put these side by side and see the changes!



Jacob's wedding in Texas - May 4, 2007
Stephen's wedding in Hawaii - May 21, 2011
My wedding in Tennessee - February 23, 2018
Amie's wedding in Tennessee - January 11, 2019

That's all for now! The weather has finally warmed up but that also means we've gotten even busier. We're taking all the steps to start building our house but we're still in the paperwork phase. I hope to document every new thing we get to do.

Have a lovely Spring, everyone!



February 7, 2019

things i love thursday

It's been such a good week! I don't have very many pictures, but I am very thankful for the week we've had.

birthdays
My Grandma's birthday was Thursday, so we all got together at her house Friday night to celebrate. We had nachos and birthday cake, and it was good to see her doing well. It's been almost three weeks since PawPaw passed and while we're so thankful he's in a better place there have been some hard days for her, and oh, his presence is so missed.

Dougy had picked out this special rock to give Grandma and she loved it


dreams & dates
Saturday was beautiful and warm. Brandon had off (he works a lot of Saturdays) so we got to sleep in and I made donut holes for us to have breakfast in bed. We finished up some things in the house with the windows open wide and then left to "visit" our land! We picked out a couple of places we think would be good to build, walked around the woods, creek bank, and found an old Pyrex bowl in perfect condition. I've collected them for awhile now, so what a special thing to find and be able to use! We finished the day with date night at Chili's and Home Depot and then grabbed Dairy Queen on the way home. 

We are SO excited to have this property!


how two introverts do date night...ice cream in the parking lot!


more birthdays
My dad's birthday was Tuesday, but it's been so busy lately so we all just got together at my parent's house Sunday between services. Everyone's over there almost every Sunday anyway and Brandon and I rotate Sunday dinner with our families so it was the perfect time. 

After the gift-opening we found ourselves piled on the couch - Isaac & Amie with Lena's bottom half on A's lap, top half leaning against me. Dougy in my lap looking at the picture book Brandon was reading him "not loud enough" ;) I love family time!


other things...
drawing house plans (finally getting them to scale!) | windows open for three days in a row | fresh air | eating with Amie and Isaac in their home (they had us over Monday night) | church meals | fresh, loaded salads | Brandon getting home early | a minute to read outside | restocking my groceries (I only go once a month so this is exciting!) | clean laundry | thrift store finds | anniversary trip plans!





Happy first full week of February! I hope everyone's had a great one.




January 28, 2019

thankful

I want to do "Things I Love Thursday" at least a couple of times a month, but January has flown by so quickly and here I am, on the last Monday of the month, listing the things I'm thankful for. Bear with me, please. This was an emotional month full of changes.

As every January does, this year started out with my birthday on the 5th! Brandon took me to my favorite restaurant and then we did some shopping with our Christmas gift cards in Nashville. While I don't think it's connected with my brain yet that I'm 26 (the 30's side of my 20's) I also feel like I've been 26 for awhile now. Does that ever happen to anyone else? You feel like you've reached another age before you actually have? 



The following Friday night, January 11, my sister married her Isaac. As maid-of-honor (and flower-girls' hair dresser/wrangler) I underestimated the amount of responsibilities I would have and would you believe I didn't snap a single picture of me with her, me and Brandon, or anything else? One of her friends had to send me the picture below! It was a beautiful wedding, and perfectly suited to Amie. Maybe when she gets her professional photos back she'll let me post a couple on here.



Our long-awaited baby for Stephen and Tara, Josie Jean, turned one the next Friday, January 18. I can't even tell you what a little ray of sunshine this sweetheart is! Amie had one of Jacob's boys (Jackson) walk her down the aisle at the wedding as the cutest flower girl you ever did see. She walks so well to be so little and smiled and waved all the way down at the crowd of 300+ people. She's such a social butterfly and makes everyone around her just a little bit happier.


The morning of Saturday, January 19, at around 1:30am, my PawPaw passed into eternity at 86 years of age. I can't write much about it yet because he deserves words better than I have the ability to piece together right now. My dad's parents passed away before I was born, so he's the only grandfather I had. My siblings and I had never lost someone this close to us before, and it's been so bittersweet. We wanted him to go on, his state in this physical world was one we didn't want him to have to endure any longer. He'd been declining for nearly 3 years, and especially these past few months our prayers have been for God to bring him into heaven. Still, it's hard to say goodbye, to see my Grandma without him. Knowing he's not struggling anymore is so sweet, but waiting to see him again is where grief comes in. Josie's birthday party was that afternoon, and many of us still went. It was good to see my cousins that day, to share a bit of our "happy sadness" and see Josie with her beautiful smiles :)

5 children, 17 grandchildren, 11 great-grandchildren

That was my January. A lot of other things happened, and we certainly stayed busy. I learned that if Brandon is on a three day trip I'm a big cry baby, I learned that reunions are the sweetest things. We had a lot of church activities, spent a lot of time with family. 2019 started off with a lot of big changes and I know there's only more on the horizon. 

Jesus brings joy to our sorrow! He's so very good. I hope you've all had a wonderful start to your year!






January 2, 2019

a new year

As I sit here looking at this blank screen wondering what in the world to write, I realize it's been seven years since I started this blog.

I began it as a way to document my missions trip with my friends to Germany so our church family back home could stay in touch. Then I recapped the trip, and as weeks passed I realized missionaries and far-away friends were using it as a way to keep up with our lives here in middle Tennessee.

It became an outlet for the times I wanted to write creatively, a place to spill my heart when I felt surely someone out there could relate, and a place to put pictures of the growth and change that was happening around me.

Today, it is January the second, seven years later. Back then I was a few months from leaving my teen years behind, today I am a few days away from turning 26. If you scan the past few years of this blog's posts you will see a common theme of waiting on the Lord, learning to be patient, questioning the trials He requests from us, the process of a healing heart, and waiting again. And then this past year, I announced my engagement and marriage all in the span of about one month.

God is so gracious to us. This past year has been indescribable. I never would have imagined the smooth transition from being single to marriage. I wouldn't have dreamed Brandon and I would have settled into a new routine and living together as quickly and smoothly as we did. I know it was God's hand on us, His leading us every step of the way.

I'm excited to see what 2019 holds! 2018 was a big year for change, and I imagine this one will be as well. We purchased some land last month, and will be navigating saving, building, and everything that comes along with this new adventure very soon. I will try to post more, include you in our lives and keep you updated on the happenings here in middle Tennessee. 

Thank you for sticking with me via this blog. As infrequently as I post, it is still something I very much enjoy and always look forward to hearing from you.

Have a happy new year, friends!

Christmas Day 2018