leaving it

 "Lord...I don't even know how to pray for this. I don't know what to ask, I don't know what to offer. Lord...Lord..."

Pauses. Silence. Broken prayers.

Have you ever been here? You go to pray, you have a designated time, spot, and miraculously it works out that you are alone in the quiet with the Lord. The time you've been waiting for. You get on your knees, still your heart, and...

"Lord..."

Quiet. For the next several moments you listen to your breathing, your heartbeat.

And so many times, words escape you. You have prayed the same prayers over and over until you feel like a broken record. The repetition of your pleas have become monotonous, and honestly, you're just tired of praying for them.

"I know you hear me, Lord. I know you're here."

More silence as you struggle to express the things in your heart that don't want to be described with words.

"Let me make a difference. Don't let this be in vain. Show me what to do. Let my voice be heard."

As I pray for America, I find that I don't know what to say.

"Show mercy, continue to give us grace. Turn the hearts of the leaders to you. Protect my country. Show mercy..."

Over. And over. And over again.

So lately, I've been silent. I've stopped letting words just spill out and I've given them some thought.

"Right now, the voices of the wicked are so loud. They fill the news and make me feel small, weak, and terrified. Let Christians regain their voice. Give us the courage to stand and fight for what's right. The wicked have drowned us out for far to long. Fill us with boldness for you. Fill us with courage, strengthen our voices and our stand. Let us be heard."

I may only pray for 15 minutes. But I will sit in silence for many more than that. I want Him to know that when I stand and go my way, I have left it all in His hands. I gather all the worries and fears and doubts and insecurities in a nice little package and I leave it there before Him.

Sometimes I go and pick a few things back up, but every day, I will gather it again, lay it down, and turn my back.

I will continuously beg for mercy. I will not stop asking for another chance. I will beseech on behalf of my nation.

And then I will leave it with Him.

A Call to Prayer

"And said, I beseech thee, O Lord God of heaven, the great and terrible God, that keepeth covenant and mercy for them that love him and observe his commandments: Let thine ear now be attentive, and thine eyes open, that thou mayest hear the prayer of thy servant, which I pray before thee now, day and night, for the children of Israel thy servants, and confess the sins of the children of Israel, which we have sinned against thee: both I and my father's house have sinned."  Nehemiah 1:5-6

A Call to Prayer

A church I'm very familiar with has put out a call for prayer for our nation. A petition for 50,000 American Christians to spend the next five days fasting and praying for the United States of America. At my church last night we were encouraged to commit to at least one day of fasting, and we'll be meeting at church every day to pray. Anonymously, with no one looking around, we had commitments for every day of the fast, and at the end, a few commitments for multiple days.

I believe fasting is very personal, I believe it's between a person and the Lord, and I believe it works. It worked for Nineveh, it can work for America.

Here is the link and information for the petition. Will you join us in the war room of prayer for America?

A Call to Prayer

april 2015 recap

It's hard to believe we're beginning the month of May. April zipped right on by in a flurry of raindrops. We had some hard, sad days at the beginning of the month. As a family in our church went through an incredibly difficult time, my memories of the beginning of the month are of tears and so much prayer as our church banded together at heaven's door for them. God is faithful, and through it all He is good and sovereign. When we don't understand His plan, and question why He allows certain things to happen, He comes to us in whispers. Gently comforting us when we face the cruel realities of life on this earth. All in all, April was a good month.

This isn't a great picture because it was taken with a phone but it's the only one I have right now. This is all of the girl cousins on my mom's side of the family. We had a baby shower for my cousin (the brunette in the middle) and her baby boy due on May 4. I love spending time with family, and it was a happy day. We can't wait to meet our new little cousin!

Easter Sunday was cloudy but pleasantly warm. As per tradition, out came the dressy spring clothes and lots of ham and sweet potatoes were consumed. We don't celebrate Easter like most people - no easter bunny! - and while we know that it's not the actual date of Christ's resurrection, it's nice to set an entire day aside to appreciate and celebrate that blessing.

Sisters! We all ended up matching - can you tell which pair of sisters belongs to each other? ;)

We celebrated the sunshine with trips to the park, bike rides, and picnics. It's still just spring here, but it's slowly getting warmer and I love it! The boys and I have lots of big plans for this summer - the  new niece or nephew is due to be here early July, so we'll be making our own summer bucket list!

I'm not sure what's gotten into me, but I cooked up a storm in April! The majority of my Saturdays have been spent in the kitchen and I'm loving it! I'm not sure if recipe posts are a thing y'all enjoy on here or not, but if you see something in the above picture that you'd like the recipe for let me know and I'll try to get around to sharing it! (They were all quite good, if I do say so myself!)

FROM THE BLOG

ending - my one and only April Fool's Day joke. Turns out it really did fool some people! 

summer bucket list - an early start on some practical plans for Summer 2015

grilled salmon & avocado salsa | recipe - a heart healthy meal with recipes and pictures included

And that was April in a nutshell. I'm playing around with the layout for my recap posts, still not sure what I like best but I'll find an easy-to-read format soon! I hope your April was beautiful, and that God was there in every day.

What were some of your favorite moments from April?