As a Christian, finding the will of God is the goal we set for ourselves, and build it upon faith. We dream of the day when we can look back and see His hand guiding us to the place we are. To see His work in the lives of our friends and family, to see His desires become our desires, no matter where they may take us.
But, for most of my life - because I'm only 20 - those have all just been dreams. My friends and I loved talking about where we would end up. It was a given we probably wouldn't always live in the same town - how many people that grow up together do? It's just reality. The one thing I can look back on and be "proud" of, is that we all dreamed of being in the Lord's will. We would talk about how amazing it would be if we were all in different states or countries, raising our families as missionaries or preachers children, serving the Lord all over the world. Coming back to our church every few years and seeing each other at Missions Conference, meeting everyone's children, catching up on the years and the blessings of God.
But now, those dreams are slowly beginning to come true. One of my friends is already married and living in another state, and another friend is about to graduate and wants to go to back Papua New Guinea for a little while. A couple of guys in our Youth Group have talked about what deputation might be like, and everyone's getting jobs and everyone is busy. We're each facing the dream of growing up.
And it's not just exactly like I pictured it.
You see, in dreams there are no tearful goodbyes. There are no conflicting emotions - those of extreme excitement and of heartbreak, mingling together and making you crazy. When your dreams require you to let go and release other smaller dreams, your heart hurts like you never knew it could. You are happy, deliriously happy, but that little dreamer inside of you is saying "this is harder than I thought it would be."
No one has the exact same dream. No one's path directly follows that of their childhood friend. We all have different journeys that we must take. My friends and I do not yet know exactly where our adventure will take us, but in the very end we will all be in the same place.
Dreams are fun, but one day, they will be staring right at you and you will have to face them with excitement and fear. And if your desire is the Lord's desire, then any fear and concern you have will be drowned out with the knowledge that it is right.
Do not follow your heart, for "the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked." Follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and watch His perfect will become your dream.
I love this Kelley! I am so excited to see where God leads us all in the next few years. Although in ways it will be heartbreaking, God's will is so much better than any of our dreams. So proud of my sister!!! :) <3
ReplyDeleteWow this is great! I miss you Kelley! Reading your writing makes me feel like your right in front of me:)
ReplyDeleteHannah!! I miss you! :( Check your email and reply to me. ;) Or I could stop being lazy and charge my phone and text you... :/ Thanks for the encouragement, I hope we get to talk soon! :)
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