My Life. . .up to now

I was born on January 5, 1993 in a tiny little town in middle Tennessee. I was born to Ronald and Rhonda, with two older brothers: Stephen, who was nine at the time, and Jacob, who was six.

I weighed 7 lb. 7 oz. :)

When I was 21 months old, my little sister Amie was born. My parents wanted to have a ton of kids, but God sometimes has other plans. My sister was the last of their children, and her name is Amie Grace, after God's amazing grace.

This will not just be about me, because so many people have had a hand in my story.

I've always been bossy, but when I was little I was really bossy. It didn't help that my brothers let me tell them what to do and did it most of the time. My sister and I were spoiled rotten by them, and we've had the BEST big brothers any girl could ask for. This is probably the reason I hope my first child is a boy. 

When I was two years old I got asthma. It's hereditary, and I have a few aunts and uncles and a cousin with it. Several nights growing up were spent being rocked by my mom, with my breathing machine held to my mouth until the medicine had me quivering. By the time I was six years old, I had been in the hospital with double pneumonia three times, and we had made several trips to the emergency room. This was a really scary time for my parents, and difficult on me. I learned how to write my name in a hospital bed.

I only remember a few of these trips, but one time we were flying down the highway, hazard lights flashing, and the blue and red lights came on behind us. My dad never slowed down, and the policeman pulled in behind us at the hospital. When we got out of the car he said, "I understand. I knew what was going on, and I wanted to make sure y'all got here safely."

The last time we made a trip to the ER was when I was twelve. My dad was preaching a meeting in Georgia, and it was a Wednesday night. Jacob carried me to the car and drove me to the hospital with my mom and Amie following. Our assistant pastor - my  Wednesday night teacher at the time - got there a few minutes after we did. A nurse in the emergency room is a member of our church, and any time one of us had to be taken (my brothers hurt themselves frequently - Stephen in ball, Jacob in many other things.) we could call her and let them know ahead of time. It always calmed me down to see someone I knew.

This trip, I was admitted to the hospital and had to stay three nights. My dad drove through the night and got there at 1:00 in the morning. I remember waking up (Jacob took Amie home and slept in my bed in our room because she was too afraid to stay in there alone) and he was standing at the foot of my hospital bed still wearing his tie. He was whispering to my mom, who stayed with me, and when I woke up he came over and prayed with me.

This little boy is Hudson, who is 8 years old now! His mom brought him to visit me :)

The first bouquet of flowers I got the next morning were from Stephen, who was in college. I had several visitors from church, and got stuffed animals, flowers, and balloons from friends and family. That was my last trip to the hospital, and I hopefully won't have another one until I have babies!

The treatments I had to take always made me feel full, and I didn't eat a whole lot of food. I was a skinny little beanpole growing up, and until I was 17 or 18 I still didn't gain much weight. My awkward years were truly awkward. I shot up all at once when I was 12, and I've grown maybe a quarter of an inch since then. At 5'4" I was taller than all the boys and weighed every bit of 90 pounds. Thank goodness that's over! :)

Because I had such weak lungs, there were a lot of things I couldn't do. I wasn't very active because once I lost my breath, it took the help of medicine for me to catch it again. Because of this, I developed a huge love for reading. I would read all day, every day. When I was in school, as soon as I was done with my work I went straight to reading. My mom let me because there wasn't anything else for me to do. In the summer I'd take my book outside and sit on our porch swing. By the time I was a teenager I'd already read hundreds of books, and I started writing and making up my own stories when I was twelve. I still love it to this day. My punishment as a kid was getting my book taken away.

When I was six years old, I had an asthma attack. It was September of 1999. Amie and I shared a double bed, and I'd already taken a full breathing treatment. I was laying on my back, concentrating on each breath I took. I have a super bad memory, but I remember this very clearly. I was thinking about the VBS we'd had that summer, and I started thinking about heaven and hell. I knew exactly what each place was, and I knew if you weren't saved you went to hell. As I laid there looking at the ceiling, my lungs started hurting, like they did a lot. It was hard to breathe, and I started thinking about what would happen if I stopped trying. If I just gave up and didn't try to get that next breath of air inside me. I knew I would die, and then it hit me - I would die, and I would go to hell. This scared me out of my mind, and I wasted no time, I didn't think about it, I got up and went straight downstairs where my parents were still up.

I actually went to my mom, and we both went to my dad. We went in the play room - which is now their bedroom/living room - and they sat in the two recliners and I knelt between them. We talked about when it meant to be saved - born again. They knew I was ready. My mom prayed first, and I have no idea what she said. I prayed next, and asked God to save me. My dad prayed last, and I don't remember what he said, either.

I don't remember much. I don't remember feeling like a burden had been lifted, just an enormous feeling of relief - though I couldn't have told you that then. I was so happy, and I wanted to tell everyone. Mama let me wake up Stephen and Jacob and tell them, and then she took me back to my room, gave me another breathing treatment, and I fell asleep.

 The thing about being saved young is that you don't remember everything. The little details eventually fade away, and all I can tell you is that on that night, Jesus came into my heart and saved me. The only doubts I've ever had are when other people say "I got saved at a young age, and got assurance at such-and-such age". It makes me wonder why I've never doubted mine, but I just accept it as a gift from God. He hasn't wanted me to doubt, and I haven't.

Over the years, I have slowly outgrown my asthma. It still flares up occasionally - during a stressful month or when the weather changes, and you will always find and inhaler in my purse. But I pretty much just forget about it now.

My little sister lost a lot of her hearing when she was three years old. We both had the chicken pox, but she was left with nerve damage on her hearing. It's never gotten better, but it's never gotten worse either. She wears hearing aids, and reads lips like none other. That's part of the reason I love sharing her music on here. She has truly lived up to her name. Because her struggle has made such an impact on my life, I felt like it was worth sharing. If you meet us, and talk to us, you may notice that sometimes I repeat what people say to her. It's an old habit I got before she got her hearing aids. When we were little our mom read us the Little House on the Prairie series. When Mary went blind, Laura promised to be her eyes. I thought that was just so cool, and promised to be Amie's ears. She doesn't really need me anymore, but old habits die hard!

During my teen years I struggled with being outgoing and friendly. I've always had my own little world - a world of fiction, like the books I read, and I just didn't see the need keep making friends. I have friends, and I've never been bothered if I'm alone. I actually really enjoy being alone!  But I've worked on it, and I'm getting better. I just wish that I'd listened to my parents and been friendlier at a younger age.

Jacob and Christine got married when I was 14. I had my first experience at having an older sister, and wasn't sure how to take it. We all grew and learned, and when I got my second older sister when I was 18, I was just glad both brothers were married and I could concentrate on myself! ;)

I became an aunt when I was 16, and since then I think everyone should be an aunt because it's awesome. 

When Jacob was in the fourth grade, my parents decided to home school. Stephen continued going to public school, and Amie and I went to the preschool at the Methodist church in town, but were home schooled after that. We loved it. Several of our friends were home schooled as well, and we went on some of the coolest field trips! I never felt deprived or sheltered, and I'm very thankful for my parent's decision.

We were introduced to missions at a very young age. I remember filling out my Faith Promise card, pledging to give 25 cents a week. I remember putting a dollar in my envelope, and then moving up to giving $5 made me feel like I was so rich. At the time, I was giving the majority of the money I had, and I never thought a thing about it. Giving to missions has always been natural to us, and it's one of my favorite things. I know people all over the world, and we have several missionaries out of our church. I wish everyone was involved in missions, because it's amazing.

 

When I was 15, my parents, Amie and I went to Australia to visit missionaries out of our church. We were there about 14 days, and it was my first experience seeing what missionaries actually do. When I was 19, Amie and I and several of our friends went to Germany. This was another experience entirely - this time my parents weren't with us, and we WORKED. Both trips were amazing, and I would love to take several more, and help many missionaries!

When I was 17, the four of us took a trip to Washington, D.C. This will forever rank as one of my favorite vacations. I LOVE history, and we saw many of the national monuments. It was amazing, and I wanted to live there! The best part of the trip was when we took a day and went to Mount Vernon. I can't explain the experience of standing on the back porch of father of our country's home, on that misty morning, looking over the Potomac River. George Washington said it was the most beautiful estate in all of the world, and I agree, 100%.

When I was 18, we went to Maui, Hawaii for Stephen's wedding. Obviously a favorite place - I've only talked about it once or twice! ;) Maui was one of the most gorgeous places I've ever been. The weather was perfect the entire 5 days we were there, and we made a day trip to Oahu to see Pearl Harbor and tour the island. It was wonderful, and I'm determined I will go back some day and stay much longer!

Those are my "travels" so far. I would love to tour/backpack Europe some day, I want to stay at least two weeks in Ireland. I want to stay in Italy for awhile and I'd love to go back to Germany. I want to go to Prince Edward Island, Africa, and another obvious one - Papua New Guinea. I love traveling, and it would be awesome if there is some of it in my future!

 Everything else is pretty much the same old story. Permit at 15, license at 16, car at 17, graduated at 18. People think that if you were home schooled you are either a genius or you're really dumb. I am neither. I stink at math and can't remember anything involving numbers to save my life. I love English, proper grammar, and putting words together. Actually, I adore it.

Choosing not to go to college was difficult for me. I won't write about it because I already have. But I love the job I have now! :)

At this point in my life I'm learning that God doesn't ask all of us to go somewhere and suffer for Him. Someone has to stay behind and "send" and for now, that's what I'm doing. The quote says, "Until God opens the next door in your life, praise him in the hallway." For some people, doing the will of God comes in one big dose of "Go here and do this." For me, it's, "Kelley, it's time to wake up and go to work." "Now, you need to print those birthday cards and send them out." "Ok, now it's time to go home and eat lunch." One step at a time, and I'm learning to praise Him in the hallway.

One thing that makes me and my siblings different is that we are pastor's kids. We grew up living in a glass house, in a town that does not love our dad. We don't have any secrets, and there were times when life was just hard because people can be cruel.

But God gave us an amazing church family. They're really the best, and I'm not just saying that. Sometimes, they're like our blood family, and that makes being the pastor's family so much easier. They make Daddy's calling so worthwhile.

I wouldn't change a thing about growing up "in the ministry". I love it. I love the people, I love the missionaries, and I just love the ministry. I'm so thankful to be where I am today.

Boring Blog?

Well, I'm slacking with this whole blogging thing! It's been b-u-s-y around here, so I haven't worried about it too much, but now that I have a few weeks with nothing looming ahead except my normal every day schedule, I want to do more on here.

I don't want it to be boring, though!! I have a few ideas of things that would be fun for me to post, but I want your input on whether you would enjoy reading it. This is where I need your help in the comments! I'll give you some of my ideas, and you let me know which you would like to see first. :)

1. House tour.

I was going to do this back at Christmas time because we really go all out decorating our home for the holidays (tricky song title placement there ;)) but with our Missions Conference, annual Open House, traveling, 3 different celebrations, parties and whatnot, I just never got around to it. Before I knew it, we were heading off to the Summit, it was New Year, my birthday came around, and somewhere in the mix the decorations were down and a house tour never made it up. But now we're spring cleaning and our house is looking fresh and pretty again, so would you like to take a tour? Let me know!!

P.S. I know all of the church members following my blog have been in our house millions of times, but you can let me know if it would be a good post or not too!

(This is the only picture I got around to taking at Christmas - my bedroom. :P)

2. My life story up to now.

This one might actually be really boring, but I would have fun writing it. :) I would tell you when I was born, my struggle with asthma (which I've never learned to spell on the first try), when I got saved, my life as a pastor's daughter and all that entails, about my family, where I live, etc. etc.....

We LOVED dressing up! Amie is Balaam's donkey, I was a puppy. :)

 3. A day in my life.

Complete with pictures! Also might be boring. But wouldn't that be fun?? ;) Maybe I'm the only nosy person, but I love reading this stuff from other people!

4. Random little details.

You ask me questions, I answer them. I pick and choose details about my self and put them out there. My weirdest fear, my favorite time to read, blah blah blah... :)

5. A southern meal.

It's nearly summer! I'll choose a meal that involves everything southern, take pictures and share recipes. It might include sun tea, homemade ice cream, fried chicken, and maybe cornbread. I don't know, but I think it would be fun. :)

6. Skin-care routine and favorite products.

Uh-oh, it's getting girly!!!

Please let me know which of these you would like to read first in the comments!! I would have fun doing this, and I hope you will enjoy reading them. :)

sunshine and rain ♥ april recap

What a crazy month! The weather has taken it's toll on the health of the people who live on the Cumberland - us. It was cold and rainy on Saturday, and today (Tuesday) it's supposed to get up into the 80's - I hope so, and I hope that the warm weather will stay this time! My dad, mom, sister and I are traveling down to Alabama tomorrow for a missions conference at Ridge Road Baptist Church. I won't have any internet while we're down there so I decided to go ahead and post my recap today. Pray for us while we're there! Wednesday-Saturday is the conference, my dad will be preaching every night. Saturday morning is a Father/Daughter luncheon where Amie and I will be speaking and we're both SO nervous, so please try to remember us in your prayers! My mom will be speaking at the same time at a Mother/Son picnic. We're looking forward to it, but speaking makes us nervous!

Saturday after the services we will drive several hours to another location in Alabama for Decoration Day and spend the afternoon with my dad's side of the family. We'll head back to Tennessee Sunday afternoon and make it back for services at our church.

Now, on to the recap!

The first week of April is momentarily gone from my memory, the second week of April everyone in my family was hit with a 24 hour stomach virus. The kind where you start throwing up at 1:00am and by 11:00pm you wonder if you could eat a cracker or two. The kind that makes you think that even though you're only 20, maybe you should have made a will. Tanner had a mild case of it on Sunday, Jackson and I got it on Monday, Christine got it on Tuesday, Jace had it on Wednesday, my dad got it on Friday, Mama and Jacob had it on Sunday, and Amie felt bad on Sunday but never got the really bad sickness that the rest of us did. IT WAS BAD.

April 14  we were at a surprise 16 birthday party for Grace after church Sunday afternoon. Sunday night, my dad left after church to drive through the night to Oklahoma. He went home directly after services to pack and get ready, and since Drew was going with him, he came back by the church to pick him up. A few of us hung out until he got there, and Amie learned how to play some "bluegrass" on the guitar. As you can see from the video, it's "peaceful bluegrass" (I did not come up with that term).

 

April 15-16 my dad went to Oklahoma to preach a meeting. My grandparent's church was having their anniversary meeting these same two days, so Mama, Amie and I went to that. We drove up both nights, the first night taking some boys who wanted to go with us. My grandma had everyone over for supper, and we had a really great time! Please keep their church, Antioch Baptist, in your prayers - they've recently moved locations and are trying to grow.

Amie (and Sport), me, PawPaw, James, Grandma, Connor, JD, and Collin. My mom took the picture.

 April 26 Mama, Amie, Christine, the 3 boys and I went to the Strawberry Patch Festival (not actually sure if it's the Strawberry Patch Festival, or the Strawberry Barn Festival) which was SO MUCH FUN! Seriously like Pinterest in real life. They do it again in the Fall, and I'm definitely going back! The pictures are some we took in front of an old vintage bus, and then at the park after we left. For Jace, Jackson, and Tanner, having a picnic at the playground and then playing was the best part of the day. ;)

 

When I told him that was like what firemen use, he said "No, this is like Oah's nark!"

Other random happenings for which I cannot remember dates include Sonic trips after church,

Hannah sending me some wedding pictures,

spring cleaning my room with this little monster,

and buying flowers!

My car on the way home from work one day. I had to take a picture of how cheery it looked. My laptop backpack is so girly :)

Isn't spring delightful? I hope everyone had a wonderful April! Now, off to Alabama....

SuRvEy (plus some old pictures)

Did the title of this post bring back some memories for any of you? Remember the e-mail surveys? Well, I dug this one out from the dusty folders of my old email address (figure of speech on the "dusty"). I always loved reading these and filling them out, so I thought I'd post one on here. If I have as much fun as I used to, I may just post several over the course of the next few weeks!

WHAT TIME DO YOU GET UP?  I wake up every weekday morning at 6:30.

 IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?  I would ask Jimmy Stewart to be alive for a few more hours so it could be him.

I am a weirdo.

GOLD OR SILVER? Gold, especially rose gold for watches and white gold for an engagement ring. (hint, hint, future.)

 YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Most of the oldies, and Andy Griffith ranks #1.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?  Whatever I can get down (not a morning person). Usually something light - fruit, a smoothie, something like that. I LOVE watermelon for breakfast.

CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?  If I push my nose down with my finger.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?  Independent women, because I am a scaredy cat.

WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Marie.

BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY?  Beach.

MAUI!!!!

 FAVORITE ICE CREAM?  It's only seasonal, but Blue Bell's Southern Blackberry Cobbler.

 BUTTER, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN?  Butter with creole seasoning.

FAVORITE CAR? A Honda Element, which I have been driving for 3 years now, but recently I've been really attracted to the CRV's.

One of my senior pictures...I was so cool. :P

FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING? Turkey or chicken, mayo, spicy mustard, lettuce, black olives, dipped in salsa.

WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE?  Hypocrisy.

FAVORITE FLOWER?  Tulip.

FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK? STILL.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?  White. 

HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?  Two (plus a car remote, a flip-flop key chain from Aruba and a surfboard key chain from Maui).

girly!

WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO?  Hawaii.

CAN YOU JUGGLE? Not at all.

FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Saturday.

WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE COLOR GUMMY BEAR? I don't like gummy bears.

CANDY? Yes. Hot Tamales.
 
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SONG SANG ABOUT/FOR YOU? Yes.

WHERE DO YOU SING THE MOST, IN THE CAR, THE SHOWER, OR OTHER? Car.

WHAT DO YOU SMELL LIKE? "Aruba Coconut".

WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKET? Lint.

ANYTHING IN YOUR MOUTH? Gum. Orbit's bubble mint.

EVER HURT YOURSELF PLAYING WII? Yep!

DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? Yes.

Senior picture - can you see the freckles?

HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SAY "HELLO" IN? 5 that I can think of.

CAN YOU DO THE ALPHABET IN SIGN LANGUAGE? Yes...mostly.

WHAT CAN YOU HEAR RIGHT NOW? The hum of a million different office machines, the ticking of a clock.

EVER BEEN OVERSEAS? Yes.

ARE YOU CLOSE TO YOUR SIBLINGS? Yes.

 
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB? Babysitting...7 years ago. Oh, dear.

WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME TO? This requires an explanation...my first name, Kelley, is spelled like a last name because it's after my mom's gradmother's maiden name. She was Virdie Mae Kelley before she was married, and I never got to meet her, so I love my name. My middle name, Marie, is after my dad's mother - Mary Jean. I never got to meet her, either, so I like carrying the names of these two women. However, most people called his mom Jean, so if I could go back in time and tell my parents what to do, my name would be Kelley Jean.

WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST HAPPY? These three:

Forgive me for using such an old picture of Jace...it's just so cute I couldn't help it :)

Jackson - my watermelon buddy. :)

Me and Tanner -  I didn't know this picture was being taken!

 
 Any other things you want to know about me (normal or weird)? Ask me in the comments! :)

Fear

I am afraid.

There, I said it. That's such a hard thing to admit sometimes - that you're afraid. Of something, of everything. 

But then again . . . of nothing.

I am afraid of time. Weird? Everyone is afraid of time. We don't have enough, we're running out, it's passing too swiftly.

We're aging, we're getting old. Not really, but gradually, aren't we all?

"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."

I wondered tonight when seventeen year olds started looking young. Really, Kelley? Come on. You're only twenty. But believe me when I say that by the time I turned sixteen, I had been sixteen for five years.

I might be slightly exagerating.

When I was seven/eight/nine I wanted to be "grown up" so badly! I absolutely could not wait to be cool - or at least, what I perceived as cool. My parents tried to slow me down, and as best they could, they did. But I was determined to be like the teenagers. I wonder if it started even before the time I thought it did, because I've been carrying a purse around with me since I was young enough to carry a diaper in it . . . by the time I was able to walk, I've been able to carry a purse.

Not girly in the least.

(Pretty sure my family is rolling their eyes as they read this.)

But I wish I could go back and reclaim those years. Even the years of eleven, twelve, and thirteen, though maybe not so much the awkwardness that accompanied them. I lived those years in the anticipation of the coming ones, not stopping to enjoy the moment, and live in the day. Ever the dreamer, I could only envision my future.

These days I feel like I live only for the day, avoiding thoughts of the future and the pain it might hold. But by doing so I deny myself the thought of possible joy and elation. If my teen years were beyond what I had hoped, why shouldn't my twenties be any better?

I'm purposing to make them the best I possible can, but the fear of mistakes and failures nibble at my thoughts, and I allow worry to creep in.

And once again, I have opened the door to fear.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear..."

My youngest nephew Tanner is a year and a half (18 months, for those weirdos who count babies ages in months) and he is deathly afraid of bubbles blown from bubble gum.

I'm talking screams, tears, bury-his-face-in-your-neck, sobbing, terrified of them. When I chew gum around him, he stares at my mouth convinced, I'm sure, that at any moment a bubble will burst forth and attack him.

He is also nearly as afraid of play dough, and Jace (a little over four years old, 52 months to be exact ;) ) greatly enjoys chasing him around the house with it.

I love him to death, as we all do, and he gets spoiled, so don't think we're mean, but when this happens, it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The first time it happened, we were all laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes and yes, we kept blowing bubbles.

We know there is nothing for him to be afraid of. The bubbles will not hurt him, and he's perfectly fine if you're only chewing the gum so yes, we are amused by his fear. We will always do everything in our power to preserve him from real harm, and even when blowing bubbles, he trusts us implicitly. He has nothing to fear, yet he is still afraid, and this is funny.

How then, must our fears look to the Lord? 

We know He is here and everywhere, all the time. We know He has promised to protect us, we are His children, He loves us to death, and will do everything in His perfect power to preserve us from real harm. His definitions are different from ours, but His grace will always protect us.

And yet, we are still afraid. Does this make Him want laugh at our insignificant fears? Maybe. And oddly, I find comfort in that. 

  

" Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."

My fear of time . . . He knows no time.  He has not given me a spirit of fear, I can rest under His wings. This thought is so comforting to me, that "...when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

A Hurting Heart

I could sit here and brag about my patriotism, I could sit here and tell you I'm tender hearted, I could sit here and talk about how sad I am.

But the facts are simply I am an America citizen, I do have a heart, and that heart is hurting very much right now.

My heart is with the people involved in the tragedy in Boston. I have cried, I have remembered Newtown, I have remembered Columbine, I have remembered the Twin Towers and the Pentagon, I have remembered...and I have cried, and I have prayed, and I have done it over and over again.

As someone waiting on love, I cannot imagine finally finding it, about to finally, finally say "I Do" and having that person ripped from my life. I cannot imagine having my little sibling or young child suddenly gone. I cannot imagine being in good health, running a marathon, and suddenly I'm missing limbs and knowing my body will never, ever be the same again. And yet, maybe in a small way I can imagine it just a little and that is why I can hurt for them.

Because some sick, twisted, selfish, evil heart took. And killed. And hurt.

And I am afraid to say even that, because what if my family, my friends, my town is targeted next? This is America and this kind of fear is not acceptable.

I am not unlike anyone else. I have wondered what we should do differently. How we could prevent things like this from happening. But I am also not unlike anyone else, who, when we hear about tragedies such as this does not picture my own loved ones. When I close my eyes, all I see are the faces of three precious little boys behind my eyelids.

So no matter what we wish we could do, how much we wish it hadn't happened, it all boils down to the fact that there are hurting, grieving people. And once again, my prayers are with those I've never and will never meet. I hope that all of you are praying for them too.

Why Duct Tape is Important

I wrote this when I was eighteen years old and shared it with some of my friends and family. I stumbled across it a while back ago, and seriously thought I had already posted it. I'm not going to lie, it's one of those things that makes me nervous about clicking the little "publish" button. Just keep in mind that this was written 2 years ago, please! I'm still keeping the promises I wrote about, and I still stick to what it says, I just might word it a little differently these days. ;) I hope you enjoy it, please let me know your thoughts in a comment!

___________________

Someday, I'd like to get married. I really would. I think I'd enjoy it, but first I need to find a groom.

But I'm not looking. Really I'm not. I know I grumble and complain about being eighteen and not having a boyfriend and oh, what if that never happens to me, but in all seriousness, I'm not worried. If God wants me to get married, it'll happen in His time, and I honestly believe He'd like me to. I'm not claiming that He personally told me that, but I believes He gives us the desires of our hearts.

So I'm not looking. Do I expect this Mr. Right to show up gift wrapped and perfect? Pretty much. I am waiting on him.

Yes, I have high expectations, and I believe that's ok. I suppose I expect of him what I expect of me. So to describe what he must be, I have to describe what I must be.

I must promise God to never give away a single smidgen of my heart until my wedding day. He can hold it for me while I wait! And I'll let my dad take care of protecting it.

I must promise to serve the Lord, obey my parents, and treat people right.

I must promise to use my talents for God's purpose, to treasure every moment, and choose happiness every day.

I must purpose to pray for my future husband every single day.

But what is the significance of duct tape? That's easy to answer: I wear a promise ring. They're now called purity rings, but I prefer to call mine a promise ring because of all the different promises I've made. On my eighteenth birthday I got my braces taken off, and when I got home a ring I had picked out a few days before had come in the mail. It's a Celtic design (which is a woven design) and I've decided it's my new promise ring. It reminds me to keep my heart and life woven with Christ, and He'll send me someone that I can weave it with here on earth.

But still, duct tape? Ok, so I read a book over the summer titled "Praying for your Future Husband" and it was written partly by one of my all time favorite authors, Robin Jones Gunn.

In the book, she tells a true story about her son.

I cannot remember his name, nor how old he was, but when he was a teenager he went to a summer camp. One day he was helping tear down a tent, and a girl came up to him. She told him to meet her by the lake that night, and she would let him be the one to give her her first kiss, then she walked off. At that moment, he was peeling off the duct tape that was holding one of the posts together. It occurred to him that duct tape is something so small, so seemingly insignificant, but it was strong enough to hold an entire tent up and prevent it from falling and hurting a bunch of people.

On the spur of the moment, he wound some of this duct tape together and made a ring for his ankle. He promised himself he would not take it off until his wedding day when he gave his first kiss away to his bride and let her cut it off. I believe he was fifteen. (He did not meet the girl at the lake.)

True story!

Over the years, as the tape wore thin and became dingy, he simply added more layers. People asked him about it all the time, and his mother said it began to look like a shackle. But he said it was a constant reminder not to fall into temptation, and through different girlfriends the tape remained on his ankle.

Finally, he met The One. On their wedding day he gave her two gifts: a pair of diamond earrings, and a pair of scissors. She cut through the layers and layers of duct tape and promises, and finally he gave her his third gift: his first kiss.

While I believe this is a little extreme and I would never expect someone to do this, I think it's a beautiful story. A story of kept promises no matter what other people said. A story of a love so strong that before he even met this girl he wanted to give her everything he had. It's beautiful, and if you can get past the "duct tape anklet?" you might smile too.

So yes, I wear a promise ring, and while I never expect my future husband to actually have anything that symbolizes all of this, I hope he realizes the importance of it.

I hope he knows how strong duct tape is.