I have no idea how to start this post so I'm just going to just jump right into it!
Honestly, I have SO MANY things I want to write about. I want to do a post all about my thoughts on postpartum life - the emotions, adjustments, etc... (it's so hard and I just now feel more like myself). I want to write about how my entire world has changed, I want to update you on our house progress, I want to write about all the things! But right now the most prevalent thought in my mind is fear.
About three weeks ago a tornado ripped through areas 30 and 45 minutes away from me. It literally touched down, destroyed homes and businesses, picked up and dropped the trash on my county, and then touched back down on the other side and was even more destructive. People lost their lives, an entire family was killed, and they are still working on the recovery of these areas. We got the alert on our phones late that night, we heard the strong winds, we experienced that eery silence and then the random hail that followed. I was nervous, but the tornado watch had already ended so I didn't know the extent until the next morning. Was I practicing faith or was I just able to relax because of my ignorance?
The following Thursday we were warned of heavy winds, rain, and hail coming through that night, the possibility of more tornadoes...in MY area. That whole day I held Willa tighter, called Brandon more, and prayed so hard. In these instances none of us are exempt. None of us have any control. We went to bed and I pulled Willa's bassinet right up next to our bed. We prayed, we fell asleep, and it only rained a little. God was there and he was protecting us. But where was my faith then?
Now we're facing a virus and the panic and chaos surrounding it is something I've never experienced before. It isn't just my county, my state, or even my country. I honestly haven't been sure how to react. There's a temptation to panic simply because everyone else is panicking. I have no advice on what we should do. When I heard they might close grocery stores down for 2 weeks I felt like I needed to go out and get a bunch of stuff but then I took stock of what we have. I was already stocked up on groceries because I have a three month old and I don't like to get her out much anyway (she never left our house until she was a month old). I've always practiced social distancing because I'm introverted. But faced with the chance of having no choice? Of stores limiting what we're allowed to buy? The government controlling where we go? That's different, isn't it.
I don't know what this is going to do to our nation. I have no idea what's going to happen to the economy. I don't believe we should bury our heads in the sand and act like nothing is going on, but I also don't think we can put our lives on hold. We're building a house and I want to move in. So Brandon goes to work, does what he can at the new house, then comes home and washes his hands before holding his little girl. I wipe our phones down with alcohol at night, I wash my hands more often. We take our vitamins, I keep my baby at home. Let's practice cleanliness as much as we can, let's not share our germs as much as we can, let's stay home as much as we can, and let's trust God to guide us when and if we need to do more. That's what we're doing anyway, and I remind myself multiple times a day not to dwell on "what if's". As a naturally anxious person I've learned the best way to not worry is to not think about the things that make me worry.
As her mother and father, we meet all of Willa's needs and protect her. As our Father, the Lord will do the same for us. Have the faith of my three month old and rest in Him.
