summer photos

I could ramble on and on about VBS, Jr. Camp, Youth Camp, and all of the in between planning that goes into each event, but instead, I'll just share a few pictures.

VBS and Jr. Camp happen in the same week - and let me tell you, there is no tired like Friday afternoon of that week tired. It's so fun, though! I got to travel around with the 2 and 3 year olds again this year, and they're so sweet. It's all new and exciting to them, and as Lena Rae called it, "ABCD" is a very grown up experience to these little people. (Once Lena finally remembered the correct letters were VBS, she pronounced it as "b-b-ee-us")

Many parents don't want pictures of their children online, so here are just a few of the pictures I have where none of their faces are visible.

The parachute is THE. FUNNEST. GAME. (or so I've been told)

The Jr. Campers put on a skit for the kids at VBS on the Prodigal Son. This was the riotous living. ;)

Lena Rae was very willing to put on the outfit when we "visited Mexico". 

VBS starts at 9am - by 11:30, Duck Duck Goose is way too demanding.

Silly Supper

Kaitlyn and I decided that the kids needed to experience a Silly Supper like we did "back in the day"

Silly Supper explanation: We came up with a menu, and then assigned each item gross, silly descriptions - such as Shredded Stock (roast beef), Swarm of Lice (lima beans), and Swine Husks (corn on the cob), just to name a few. We told the kids to dress up for a "nice dinner" and then each of our waiters (teens and young adults) dressed up in ridiculous outfits, us females wore pigtails or whatever other unusual thing we could do with our hair (see above picture - this was after supper so we're a little disheveled), and acted proper while seating them, watching them stress over their very strange menus while taking orders, and then serving them their Scorch (brownies) or Sweet Disappointment (lemonade). It's a lot of fun and the kids had a blast!

After that week was over, we had Saturday and Sunday to clean up, do laundry, regroup, and pack  rest before heading out to Youth Camp on Monday. Youth Camp this year was incredible. I once again had the 13 year old girls in my room and we had a lot of fun. Our camp is entirely tech free so there were no phones, iPods, cameras (expect for the designated photographers), or anything like that all week. I had my phone because I was a counselor, but I only took this one picture on the last afternoon. I kept mine off and away like everyone else and it allowed for a clear mind and better ability to focus on what God wanted to do. I believe it was one of our best camps yet.

We've had three weeks free, and it's been wonderful! One week from today Music School begins, and even though that's a little overwhelming, having these weeks to just rest and have fun has really helped. We've kept ourselves busy, but it's been a good busy.

One early Saturday morning Amie and I took a hike with a couple of our friends at a lake nearby. I thought it was going to be a stroll by the lake. Nope. It was a hike. We had 6 miles in by 8:30am though, so it was a lot of fun and by the time we finished it was up to 85 degrees so we beat most of the heat!

We finally had another girls' night after about a year. We realized the last time we did this was when Lena Rae was just a few months old, and now that Tara's back in Tennessee we should do it more often.

We ate at Puckett's in downtown Franklin and had dishes like chicken and waffles, shrimp and grits, and mac-n-cheese BBQ. I highly recommend this restaurant! It was really small, was also a grocery store, and had live music (we weren't sure about that at first, but the man playing an instrument I've never seen before just played songs like Wonderful World, Fools Rush In, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow, so it was actually nice). We then walked around window shopping because all the shops were closed and got ice cream at Kilwins. I love Franklin!

And now, it's July 4th - my favorite holiday! After Christmas but tied with Thanksgiving. ;) I hope everyone has been having an amazing summer!

on my heart

my sunshine

I'm not going to have very many completed thoughts in this particular blog post. I'm not going to have answers to questions or a conclusive ending. All I have is a jumbled mix of thoughts and emotions that have been heavy on my heart lately.

Why?

Why does it seem that those who seek God the hardest and want to serve Him the most seem to struggle more than average? Why?

Why does an irresponsible teenager get to have a baby, whom God allows her to abort, and the couple who serves Him wholeheartedly and only wants to raise a family for His glory has an empty home?

Why does He give us enough confidence to go forward with something, and then later show us another path? Change directions, take a new road, and somehow it feels like reverse but we're asked to follow Him into the thick darkness.

I know He never promised growth without growing pains, but it sure would help to see the areas we're growing in. It would definitely help if He would silence the never ending doubts and questions that plague our hearts and minds.

It would help if He would just sit here beside me and hold my hand, mend my bruised and hurting heart, and let His peace and confidence seep into my soul and never, ever leave.

I know that in the very center of God's will there is joy unspeakable. I know there is assurance and confidence. I know there is security and peace beyond measure. That doesn't mean bad things don't happen, it just means that when they do, you know the Lord allowed them to happen in order to show you something.

I feel that right now. The assurance that I'm exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to do, with the people in my life that need to be in it.

And yet, doubts do creep in. When I wonder what my future might hold anxiety steals my peace and impatience mixed with the fear of change makes me weary. I am so content at this very moment, but somehow, for some reason, there is a sense of restlessness way down deep inside my heart and I don't know who it came from - God, trying to tell me to make a change, or the devil, trying to make me question what I already know God has shown me. How can I tell?

And comfort comes when I realize it's ok to ask Him. It's ok to wonder why. It's an age old question, a timeless wondering, and no one has the answer. But did you know, that when Jesus became separated from His Father, when God turned His back on His only begotten Son and became only His God, the first question our Savior asked was "Why?" My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? He is that personal. He is that close. He understands it all - and He understands it firsthand. The questions, the hurt, the confusion. And He is here. He is close.

I am in a season of growth in my life. It hasn't been easy, I've asked a lot of questions and I've even been frustrated at my God. All unnecessarily but when I got down to it, when I became raw and honest with Him and just let it all come out, I felt Him moving. I have a tendency to apologize whenever I feel like I'm beginning to sound "spiritual" because I'm very far from it, but I just can't help it right now. I am changing, I am growing, and as much as I've hated the process, I am thankful for His guiding. I am not a morning person, but sitting up in my bed these days, praying over my Bible before I crack it open and asking begging for a verse, a light, I have been given little nuggets. Not a laser beam that points at what to do, but little whispers of comfort, little breaths of peace.

You are ok. You have done and are doing the right thing. Let go of the mistakes, let go of the past and any questions you might have. I am here. I always will be. Lay your burdens down.

So I don't ask the questions about my future. Honestly, I try not to even think about it much. I dream about a house I might like to build with my brother's help someday, I plan our fourth of July celebration and I count down the days until Faith gets back from PNG and Kaitlyn has little baby Klay. Those things make me happy. Dreams, plans, celebrations. As for the rest of it, that's for God to know and me to find out. I just live life day by day. ...and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here. Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I've no cause for worry or for fear. He whose heart is kind beyond all measure gives unto each day what He deems best. Lovingly, it's part of pain and pleasure, mingling toil with peace and rest.

It's a fight, this Christian life. Against the world, the flesh, and the devil, but never against Jesus. I've been fighting, and I've grown weary. Burdens that weren't mine to carry weighed me down and I struggled what seemed endlessly with my emotions, my doubts, and my questions. And as I opened my heart for God to change it, verses started popping up. I have reminders taped to my wall now, and my Bible has become more and more marked as it becomes more and more personal. For me. Why should I ask God for His audible direction when He's already spoken and the words have been preserved for generations? He's fighting FOR me, I just have to hold on to the peace and not let anyone steal it away.

Exodus 14:14 - a verse for me!

And with peace comes happiness. It may not be bubbly and exciting and look like people want it to look, but it is joy that's rooted deep. It's true that good feelings don't always come in the same envelope as the right answer, but sooner or later, hope springs forth and with it the light of happiness. Sometimes happiness is a choice, and sometimes you're just so content that you can't help but be happy. Happiness lurks, I think. Waiting for you to shoo away the gloomy clouds so it can shine on you again. :)

I've been silent on this blog because I wasn't sure what to say. My life has been different for awhile, and I am different now. But in better ways, I think. I hope this blog post wasn't too boring or confusing, but I needed to write it, and I needed to put it all out there. If I can help just one person with some of the same questions, opening myself up to criticism is absolutely worth it.

We are not consumed, His mercies are new every morning. Hold your peace, He understands and He's working on His plan whether we can see it and understand it or not.

Consideration for the question "Why do good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people?" Why would good things happen to any of us? Do I really think I deserve better in this life? I haven't earned any of it, so what grounds do I have to question the hard things when I so often forget to question how He's given me so much good? 

NEXT ON THE BLOG: Summer activity photos and updates! VBS, "Silly Supper", Youth Camp, an early morning hike with some friends, and girls night out.

A walk to the lake - a 5 or 6 year running Youth Camp tradition with the best friends on earth.

picture post | partial update

In my last post, I mentioned that I wanted to write before I "got bogged down in life changes". I hate neglecting this blog because I know what it's like to want to keep up with someone and go for a few months without hearing anything, and truly, I do love blogging. However, I have been a bit consumed with life changes, so I hope you'll understand. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be able to share some of those changes, but for now, please just keep me in your prayers and enjoy a few pictures. :)

In February, we took a quick family weekend trip to the Smokey Mountains. Our favorite things in Pigeon Forge include The Old Mill Restaurant, the Dixie Stampede, and the newest one - The Alpine Coaster.

On March 5, 2016, my fellow "single friend" married the one whom her soul loves. It was a beautiful, touching ceremony, and the bride and groom were the calmest bride and groom I've ever seen. I hope my wedding one day will be half as God honoring as theirs was, and it's been such a blessing to see them serve the Lord together.

Now, just a couple of snapshots...

just an update!

After (how long has it been?) since a blog post, I've decided there's no real cure for writer's block. No matter how badly I want to write, no matter how hard I search for inspiration, the fact is I've got 3 articles started, none finished. Maybe soon!

For now, here's a quick picture post so you know what's been going on around here! With my best friend getting married and moving away soon, my sister graduating college in May, and so many other things looming ahead, I thought it'd be best to get an update on here before I get bogged down in life changes. Here we go!

Lena Rae turned 2 on January 21st. Have I mentioned how precious this little girl is to our family? I was sixteen when Jace was born, and for the past 7 years these kids have been my life. I love being an aunt more than I've ever loved anything, and Lena Rae has made it even sweeter with all her girly-ness. 

I also just so happen to have the world's best grandparents! For my Grandma's 80th birthday everyone got together at our house to celebrate. All 17 grandkids were able to make it as well as the 7 great grandkids. All of my grandparent's children were there with their spouses, and it was a really special night.

WE GOT SNOW! About 6 inches of it! It was so much fun, regardless of the fact that we were pretty much shut in for the weekend (which wouldn't have been a bad thing, but it was wedding shower weekend). This picture is of some of our church members/neighbors. I love living in this small town with these people and their off road vehicles!

I got to help with the bridal shower for the third one of my friends to get married. Faith will marry Vance in less than two weeks!

Kaitlyn, Faith, and I took a short girl's weekend to spend some time together before the wedding, and we couldn't have asked for it to turn out better. We were able to stay at Opryland Hotel by using my Sunday School teacher's employee discount, and because of a pizza mishap got free frozen yogurt, which caused us to be delayed long enough to see the the fountain light show at eye (balcony) level while we ate! We waited in line for about 20 minutes just to get inside the Pancake Pantry (the line was backed up to the street!) the next morning and it was so worth it! I'm so glad to have these memories for when our lives all take different paths.

I celebrated Valentine's Day with my parents, my sister, and all five of my sweethearts. We made lasagna together, had doughnuts for dessert, and watched a new movie after bath time and pajamas. They got to spend the night, and once again, being an aunt is my favorite thing!

Christine and I went shopping a few days ago and took Lena Rae with us for some fun girl time. She definitely had fun, but didn't make it five minutes at the last stop before falling asleep in the buggy! By the time we made it back to my car, she was snoring on my shoulder.

This is our "Sibling Octet". We've all been friends since birth, sang together for years, and decided to actually form a group and learn songs together last summer... but life happens and we learned two  songs and now one of our members is moving. This picture was taken after our last practice Sunday morning before we sang for the last time before the wedding. We are four sets of siblings - Amie and I (blondes on the ends), Faith and Grace (brunettes in the middle), James and Paul (orange shirt and gray shirt/black tie) and Connor and Collin (blue tie and red tie). Anyway, now you know who we are, but I love this picture and I love this group.

...and that's all for now! I can't believe February is at an end, but Spring usually begins in March around here, and I am so ready for some warm, sunshiny days. I hope you've all had a wonderful couple of months, hopefully I'll be more frequent on here from now on!

a new year

As the end of a year approaches, I always get very nostalgic, a bit nervous, and mildly anxious. There's just something about endings that are sad - the ending of a book, the ending of a trip, the ending of a year. It's momentous, and we somehow feel as though while some things were already in the past anyway, changing the last number on the date really makes it in the past.

But as soon as the page turns and we go from December 31 to January 1, everything somehow switches from melancholic to exciting and new. A clean slate, a fresh start. A chance to get everything you messed up last year right this time.

Christmas Eve!

I've never been really big on New Year's Resolutions. Last year I made a long list, called them "goals" instead of resolutions, and I still didn't complete a single one of them. This year I haven't written anything down, I haven't made any promises. I've just committed to myself to make some life and heart changes - and in a tiny way, I already have. This year is wide open, but we already know how quickly it will go by. I'm determined it's going to be wonderful. A year of feeling things deeply, choosing to be content in whatever state I'm in, and being at peace with where God wants me to be.

Mine and Jacob's birthdays are 6 days apart so we shared a birthday dinner, and then my parents and A took me out on the actual day.

Have you made any new year's resolutions? What are some things you hope to see happen in 2016? I hope you've had a wonderful start to this year, I'm excited to see what it holds!

merry christmas | 2015

From my family to all of you, I hope you've had the merriest of Christmases! 

"Love and joy come to you, and to you glad Christmas too, and God bless you and send you a happy new year."

happenings

"Do you ever wonder if you'll ever know what it's like to not even be a little tired?"

"And to think you don't even have a baby waking up at night..."

So went my silly question and sarcastic response from one of our assistant pastors (who just so happens to have a newborn!). Ah, the different stages of life and the things that accompany them!

Just getting out of missions conference and feeling like we're barreling through the Christmas season, it's hard to find time to sit and enjoy everything that comes with this time of the year. Something as simple as letting things go can make such a huge difference, but it's amazing how difficult that can be.

I normally write a poem for our Christmas cards, but this year I had to let that go. We mailed them about a week ago, and I'm still feeling bad about it. My brother did it for years, and then when he went off to med school, that Christmas tradition was handed down to me to carry out. This year my mom wrote a quick update on our year and we got those pictures in the mail. I love that tradition, and I'm planning on starting next year's in July. ;) 

So far we have only watched one Christmas film. Usually Thanksgiving night we begin with Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire and watch one nearly every weekend leading up to Christmas Eve where we'll end with It's A Wonderful Life (my all time favorite movie anytime of the year). This year we watched the shortest one I could find and squeezed it in while we were all thinking about the huge lists we each had to get done. 

Amie and I make our teachers' gifts together - she makes a few things, and I do too. Several years we've been in the kitchen together preparing them, but between her piano students and me painting the hallway, well, hers are done and mine are not. (Her cookies and cheese logs are quite good, though!)

This week though, we're going to really enjoy Christmas and I can't wait! It actually started last Friday night when our Sunday School went out to eat and then to Opryland Hotel to walk around. I'll insert the big group picture when I get it, but here's a "group selfie" of the people I walked around with all night.

Saturday night I helped my friend throw her first Christmas party at her and her husband's new home. They live just five minutes down the road and we had finger foods and tacky sweaters and gag gifts and games and a houseful of happy people!

 

Monday morning we had Lena Rae and Dougy for a bit, and I decided I would go in late to work so I could make pancakes and sausage because I was missing breakfasts. (When you go to bed at 1am, you tend to oversleep and grab a granola bar on your way out!) I made a big ol' stack and Lena Rae had 3 and I had 3 and we were so full and it was delightful.

My dad has been preaching away since Monday, and he'll get back this morning. Our annual open house for our church is Sunday night, so we've been painting and cleaning and to be honest, doing a few manly things (like hanging mini blinds. I'm so impressed with myself). When he gets back, the house will be clean and shiny and sparkling with lights. We will have cookies and caramel apples and probably iced tea since it's been 70 - 75 degrees here (Tender Tennessee Christmas! haha). I'll put on Holiday Inn and guess what? We're going to sit down...together. 

All that to say, I know it's been quiet on here. I know that I never finished my Thanksgiving week and there probably won't be a Christmas story this year. Just go back and read last year's or the one I wrote when I was nineteen.

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas! Whether you're with family or not, remember that it's all about your perspective. So many times over the past few weeks I've wanted to sit down and have a little cry because it didn't feel like Christmas. We weren't all together and the house was in chaos and it was 9 at night and I was still painting. But a few deep breaths, a few looks around at all the blessings, and you can make any situation a little bit brighter by changing your outlook. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas traditionally, do what we do and celebrate family, the gifts of God, and Christ lowering himself to meet us on our level as the most innocent and vulnerable of all human beings. 

Thank you for still reading this blog. Sometimes it's just a simple documentation of my days, but I put it up for me to go back and remember. Please make the most of the last few weeks we have left in 2015! It really is a wonderful life, and it really does pass all too quickly!